Come next Sunday
Your Monday will be my Tuesday
Winter's nine o'clock becomes our four
Am I hoping that I can reflect?
Redirect upon the times that I cannot foresee to forget?
Really now, I just power through the wait
A wait that has been really aware just as of late
Trips to be are trips to know
Odd to see the morrow's sun snow
Under, way under, is eagerness to adore
Your chills will be my warmth
Come next Sunday
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Please Fast Forward Please Focus
I can't get myself to understand BIS 101. I am so behind. I honestly have no clue on how to approach it.
Genetics may be by far the most frustrating class that I have ever encountered. Serious. It just does not click with me. I am at the point now where frustration and worry are impeding on the little productivity I have left to actually learn the material.
Please let this not be the decision-maker to my future. Please oh please.
I want to get through.
I need to get through this.
I will get through this.
For this is my hope.
Genetics may be by far the most frustrating class that I have ever encountered. Serious. It just does not click with me. I am at the point now where frustration and worry are impeding on the little productivity I have left to actually learn the material.
Please let this not be the decision-maker to my future. Please oh please.
I want to get through.
I need to get through this.
I will get through this.
For this is my hope.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Tuna Sandwiches a First
Okay this will be an odd post but I think it will somehow correlate or not.
So here's my situation . A couple of weeks ago, can't quite remember how many but a fair amount of time ago, I made some tuna salad to put in my lunchtime sandwiches and what not. For most of the quarter, I've just been sticking with my usually mushroom, spinach, mozzarella and hummus on sourdough sandwiches but since I had some canned tuna that I bought from Costco last year, I decided to change things up. I cut up some onions, drained the tuna, and added some mayonnaise; did not add celery because it was not available to me at the time but I made do with what I had. Anyways, I made a decent sized batch so it would last me through a couple sandwiches and tuna-melts. Turns out, I made a little to much.
Enter situation.
After using most of it, I saved the leftovers and kept it in some Tupperware and left it in the fridge. Days pass and I say to myself, "It's still good. I'll use it tomorrow or the next." However, after a week went by and then another I began to realize that it was probably going bad. So after that first week and a half I decided that I should throw it out.
Well...a couple more weeks passed and it's still in the fridge.
But why?
I know that the tuna has gone bad but why have I yet to throw it away?
Perhaps I'm just lazy.
Perhaps I have just forgotten.
Perhaps it's something a little more conscious.
Maybe I'm just avoiding having to deal with it because I know that it will be very unpleasant.
Another day it sits in there is just another day stalled.
I'll approach it eventually.
Such a random topic. I know.
******************************************************************
Mundane Weekends.
A Toll Has Been Taken.
Productivity Wasted.
So here's my situation . A couple of weeks ago, can't quite remember how many but a fair amount of time ago, I made some tuna salad to put in my lunchtime sandwiches and what not. For most of the quarter, I've just been sticking with my usually mushroom, spinach, mozzarella and hummus on sourdough sandwiches but since I had some canned tuna that I bought from Costco last year, I decided to change things up. I cut up some onions, drained the tuna, and added some mayonnaise; did not add celery because it was not available to me at the time but I made do with what I had. Anyways, I made a decent sized batch so it would last me through a couple sandwiches and tuna-melts. Turns out, I made a little to much.
Enter situation.
After using most of it, I saved the leftovers and kept it in some Tupperware and left it in the fridge. Days pass and I say to myself, "It's still good. I'll use it tomorrow or the next." However, after a week went by and then another I began to realize that it was probably going bad. So after that first week and a half I decided that I should throw it out.
Well...a couple more weeks passed and it's still in the fridge.
But why?
I know that the tuna has gone bad but why have I yet to throw it away?
Perhaps I'm just lazy.
Perhaps I have just forgotten.
Perhaps it's something a little more conscious.
Maybe I'm just avoiding having to deal with it because I know that it will be very unpleasant.
Another day it sits in there is just another day stalled.
I'll approach it eventually.
Such a random topic. I know.
******************************************************************
Mundane Weekends.
A Toll Has Been Taken.
Productivity Wasted.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Patience Waits Patience
I find myself in a period of frustration.
Day by Day. Week by Week. Month by Month. And now, Year by Year.
I live my life. My own life.
I know what I want out of it and intend to follow through. Consequently, I take the necessary steps (or I at least try to) in order to realize the potential to my desires and my hopes. However, taking these steps is never fully drawn out.
I base my plan on the logical faith that what I do and the decisions I make will ultimately lead to my true happiness; whatever that state may be. I have yet to experience it.
There are times where I develop good momentum. These times nowadays are short and few. They leave me once I begin to feel comfortable.
For so long I have been seeking answers. My method has been straightforward yet complex; however, I have yet to see any substantial progress.
Am I stagnant? Why can't I move forward?
Patience is a word that embodies me.
Patience is a word that has contributed to my success.
Patience is a word that has been killing me throughout.
Patience is a word that will lead me to happiness.
For this I know.
"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew."
-Saint Francis de Sales
I think I may be going home this weekend. I am in desperate need to play piano.
Day by Day. Week by Week. Month by Month. And now, Year by Year.
I live my life. My own life.
I know what I want out of it and intend to follow through. Consequently, I take the necessary steps (or I at least try to) in order to realize the potential to my desires and my hopes. However, taking these steps is never fully drawn out.
I base my plan on the logical faith that what I do and the decisions I make will ultimately lead to my true happiness; whatever that state may be. I have yet to experience it.
There are times where I develop good momentum. These times nowadays are short and few. They leave me once I begin to feel comfortable.
For so long I have been seeking answers. My method has been straightforward yet complex; however, I have yet to see any substantial progress.
Am I stagnant? Why can't I move forward?
Patience is a word that embodies me.
Patience is a word that has contributed to my success.
Patience is a word that has been killing me throughout.
Patience is a word that will lead me to happiness.
For this I know.
"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew."
-Saint Francis de Sales
I think I may be going home this weekend. I am in desperate need to play piano.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Voice and Vocals
I want to write a song. Ideally, many, but for now just one. A real song. A song with meaning. With heart. With passion.
Substance.
Every time I do so I only end up writing some of the guitar or piano part but never really the melody or the lyrics. It's sad really. I'm sad for it. So much feeling to express. I tend to focus so much on the elements rather than what it is. I attempt to write lyrics but it all sounds like I'm trying way too hard to make it poetic. I push for feeling but cliche' always ensues. No originality. The times I always find some thought of creativity are always in places and situations where I am distant from recording. Remembrance.
Moments Before Slumber, The Haze of Daydream.
I hear some of my peer's compositions and they are all wonderful. There is purpose. Their purpose. They have their true inspiration. I have yet to find mine. Or rather, realize mine.
Writing a duet would be wonderful. Would be self-settling. Lovely.
I have always been quite smitten by the guy and girl vocal complement.
I need a voice before a vocal.
Help me find it.
Substance.
Every time I do so I only end up writing some of the guitar or piano part but never really the melody or the lyrics. It's sad really. I'm sad for it. So much feeling to express. I tend to focus so much on the elements rather than what it is. I attempt to write lyrics but it all sounds like I'm trying way too hard to make it poetic. I push for feeling but cliche' always ensues. No originality. The times I always find some thought of creativity are always in places and situations where I am distant from recording. Remembrance.
Moments Before Slumber, The Haze of Daydream.
I hear some of my peer's compositions and they are all wonderful. There is purpose. Their purpose. They have their true inspiration. I have yet to find mine. Or rather, realize mine.
Writing a duet would be wonderful. Would be self-settling. Lovely.
I have always been quite smitten by the guy and girl vocal complement.
I need a voice before a vocal.
Help me find it.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Finding the Lines
Underwood Typewriter- Fionn Regan
The roots go deep below ground
I like to walk with you in the evening
Up the hill and back down
I watch the mailboat from the clearing
My mind is so confused, I climb back on top of you
And I'm changing the ribbons in this old underwood
Step put of your dress and I'll wear you like a hood
For a hood is a home
for someone who lives alone
I draw a line from A to B and what happens in between
It is an open mystery as far as I can see
My mind is so confused, I climb back on top of you
And I'm changing the ribbons in this old underwood
Step put of your dress and I'll wear you like a hood
For a hood is a home
***********************************************************
So Summer has ended just as quickly as it began. Can't really find the words or the stories to sum it up.
I find myself unfazed by the load but daunted by the presence.
Fall is Autumn:
I see leaves change
Temperatures Slow
Dusk Fast
A new pace.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Tired Eyes
How must I rest these tired eyes?
I sleep early yet I wake up late.
Focus is strained.
Dull hinders sharp.
Bright glare, I study hard.
Contacts dry while staring blankly.
No subjects in mind.
Redness.
I sleep early yet I wake up late.
Focus is strained.
Dull hinders sharp.
Bright glare, I study hard.
Contacts dry while staring blankly.
No subjects in mind.
Redness.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
First Summer Weekend in a Long Time
So first of all, this past weekend was really quite splendid. After days of studying my brains out for my ochem midterm last Thursday I was like "screw it" what's done is done and now I'm just going to enjoy the weekend.
Though I'm taking summer school, I have scheduled it so that I have a 4 day weekend each week. I love these four day weekends because it gives me enough time to hopefully enjoy my summer without school ruining it for me.
Okay here's the basic gist of how lovely this past weekend was.
Movies:
I saw Harry Potter on Friday night with my work. Have to say, not a big fan of this one. I mean if you like the whole Harry Potter series then I say go for it but since I don't really keep up, I was lost most of the time and in general thought that it was not that interesting. In fact, this Harry Potter seemed a bit dirty with its "snogging" and what not. Although it didn't help to have 200 COSMOS high school kids snicker at every innuendo.
I chuckled.
It was probably the fifth time I've seen it but I actually love Love, Actually but shh....I'm kind of a sucker for movies like those.
Fruit-Picking:
Gosh, I can not remember the last time I went and done this. As a child my family and I would always go cherry picking and we would always get pounds and pounds of cherries. I never really appreciated it until now.
Out in the farm lands of West Davis lies this small little farm where one could pick berries, peaches, apples, and tomatoes. In the morning, before it got too hot, we picked some delicious raspberries, blackberries and peaches. Although it was quite pricey for a fruit-picking place, it was nice nonetheless.
Sticky fingers and juice stained clothes.
Baking:
Probably the main source of nutrition, or lack there of, for the past week has been of baked goods. Birthday cakes, brownies, cookies, muffin tops, and PIE!
On Saturday, in response to our new found acquisition of peaches it was only fitting that we bake a pie. We have never baked a pie before but we gave it our best effort. And with those efforts, we found success. The peach pie was wonderful; sweet, warm, and comforting.
“Life itself is the proper binge.” -Julia Child
Swimming:
Up until this summer, most of my daily activities revolved around the pool; swim meets, water polo matches, and lifeguarding. It has been a while since I have actually identified the pool as being a source of refreshment and relaxation. It was nice lounging around the pool without any agenda.
Bright shine. Hot air. Water cool. Tan lines fade.
I need more weekends like this.
Though I'm taking summer school, I have scheduled it so that I have a 4 day weekend each week. I love these four day weekends because it gives me enough time to hopefully enjoy my summer without school ruining it for me.
Okay here's the basic gist of how lovely this past weekend was.
Movies:
I saw Harry Potter on Friday night with my work. Have to say, not a big fan of this one. I mean if you like the whole Harry Potter series then I say go for it but since I don't really keep up, I was lost most of the time and in general thought that it was not that interesting. In fact, this Harry Potter seemed a bit dirty with its "snogging" and what not. Although it didn't help to have 200 COSMOS high school kids snicker at every innuendo.
I chuckled.
It was probably the fifth time I've seen it but I actually love Love, Actually but shh....I'm kind of a sucker for movies like those.
Fruit-Picking:
Gosh, I can not remember the last time I went and done this. As a child my family and I would always go cherry picking and we would always get pounds and pounds of cherries. I never really appreciated it until now.
Out in the farm lands of West Davis lies this small little farm where one could pick berries, peaches, apples, and tomatoes. In the morning, before it got too hot, we picked some delicious raspberries, blackberries and peaches. Although it was quite pricey for a fruit-picking place, it was nice nonetheless.
Sticky fingers and juice stained clothes.
Baking:
Probably the main source of nutrition, or lack there of, for the past week has been of baked goods. Birthday cakes, brownies, cookies, muffin tops, and PIE!
On Saturday, in response to our new found acquisition of peaches it was only fitting that we bake a pie. We have never baked a pie before but we gave it our best effort. And with those efforts, we found success. The peach pie was wonderful; sweet, warm, and comforting.
“Life itself is the proper binge.” -Julia Child
Swimming:
Up until this summer, most of my daily activities revolved around the pool; swim meets, water polo matches, and lifeguarding. It has been a while since I have actually identified the pool as being a source of refreshment and relaxation. It was nice lounging around the pool without any agenda.
Bright shine. Hot air. Water cool. Tan lines fade.
I need more weekends like this.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Summer Beneath an Orange Sky
All right. It is almost mid July meaning that summer is in full swing.
This summer will be and has been different than any of my summers in the past. First off, I am l am now twenty years old entering my second decade of living. No longer a teenager but not yet an adult. I feel as if I am in between the in between stage in my life; if that makes any sense at all.
Second, I know now that I have officially moved out of my house. Since I am taking both summer school sessions here in Davis, I will be spending all of my summer away from home. It is different from moving out for freshman year because I knew I had to move all of my belonginsg back to Livermore for the summer. Knowing that I will never have to move my stuff back home has caused me to realize that wow I will never be living back at home in Livermore at least if my future academic and career plan follows through correctly I will not have to move back.
As for summer school......I have had my ups and downs with it. Though I am only taking one class this session, I find it hard to remain focused. Organic chemistry is killing me with every mechanism it throws at me. It was hard enough as it was during the school year to find the desire to study but the summer atmosphere has just turned me into one lazy mess. Oh well....life goes on. I know it will only get harder so I'm just enjoying it to the best of my ability. One thing that helps is knowing that I have good friends there with me in my classes.
That brings me to another aspect of my summer that I find different. Unlike freshman year, I feel that I have successfully proven myself capable to meeting more friends. I feel that I am in a good place right now amongst my friends from both back home and in Davis. It is weird, I feel that it is not until I spend substantial time away from a friend that I really learn to appreciate them as a person. This has held true for both of my groups of friends from Davis and Livermore. For the most part, as humans we rely on social interaction to affect our development; at least I do.
Bwahhh......I have spent too much time on this post right now and I am feeling the affects of it. It is 83 degrees in my apartment right now and I am melting here at 9:30 on a saturday night with my warm laptop on my lap.
Okay I am going to finish this up.
Anywho.......
Summer thus far.
All right I'm done for now. Yell at me for more if you wish.
This summer will be and has been different than any of my summers in the past. First off, I am l am now twenty years old entering my second decade of living. No longer a teenager but not yet an adult. I feel as if I am in between the in between stage in my life; if that makes any sense at all.
Second, I know now that I have officially moved out of my house. Since I am taking both summer school sessions here in Davis, I will be spending all of my summer away from home. It is different from moving out for freshman year because I knew I had to move all of my belonginsg back to Livermore for the summer. Knowing that I will never have to move my stuff back home has caused me to realize that wow I will never be living back at home in Livermore at least if my future academic and career plan follows through correctly I will not have to move back.
As for summer school......I have had my ups and downs with it. Though I am only taking one class this session, I find it hard to remain focused. Organic chemistry is killing me with every mechanism it throws at me. It was hard enough as it was during the school year to find the desire to study but the summer atmosphere has just turned me into one lazy mess. Oh well....life goes on. I know it will only get harder so I'm just enjoying it to the best of my ability. One thing that helps is knowing that I have good friends there with me in my classes.
That brings me to another aspect of my summer that I find different. Unlike freshman year, I feel that I have successfully proven myself capable to meeting more friends. I feel that I am in a good place right now amongst my friends from both back home and in Davis. It is weird, I feel that it is not until I spend substantial time away from a friend that I really learn to appreciate them as a person. This has held true for both of my groups of friends from Davis and Livermore. For the most part, as humans we rely on social interaction to affect our development; at least I do.
Bwahhh......I have spent too much time on this post right now and I am feeling the affects of it. It is 83 degrees in my apartment right now and I am melting here at 9:30 on a saturday night with my warm laptop on my lap.
Okay I am going to finish this up.
Anywho.......
Summer thus far.
- I had a birthday. I turned 20 on the 20th. WOOT! It is weird. I got TWO cakes baked by my wonderful friends from both Davis and Livermore.
- I saw a bunch of movies and now I am broke. The Hangover (ashamedly funny). The Year One ( Meh, I chuckled). The Proposal (chick flick I know but was satsifactory). Away We Go (Jim Halpert with a beard; need I say more).
- OCHEM OCHEM OCHEM OCHEM OCHEM OCHEM
- Lifeguarding
- Internship
- Melting
- OCHEM OCHEM OCHEM OCHEM OCHEM OCHEM
All right I'm done for now. Yell at me for more if you wish.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Portugal. The Man meets Baby
I've been listening to this band for a long time. They have a unique yet familiar sound that speaks some kind of energy. Though hard and gritty, they may not attend to many followers but I definitely recommend seeking them.
Cute.
Some other good songs by them...
Shade
Bellies Are Full
Sleeping Sleepers Sleep
Chicago
Side note:
I need to make a habit of playing music outdoors.
Join me.
Portugal. The Man "Salt" (Acoustic) from Portugal The Man on Vimeo.
Cute.
Some other good songs by them...
Shade
Bellies Are Full
Sleeping Sleepers Sleep
Chicago
Side note:
I need to make a habit of playing music outdoors.
Join me.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Hide and Seek
Why hello there.
As a child we have always played that familiar game of hide and seek. In this game, one of two roles are assigned. You are either a hider or a seeker. With each and every game these roles are changed; however, most often or not, hiding was a role that seemed to over play the other.
I believe that I have been hiding long enough. This time it's my turn.
For now, I am a seeker.
I seek the hidden.
I seek truth.
I seek meaning.
I seek faith.
I seek love.
I seek music, art, and joy.
I seek people.
I seek you.
And above all...
I seek myself.
Out of interest and encouragement, I have decided to start one these. This is a work in progress.
I have never been much in the ways of the written word but I hope through this I can improve upon it. I hope to make this part of my routine though I can not guarantee anything.
As of now, my audience is small. Perhaps, with extended interest it will grow.
Thank you for reading.
As a child we have always played that familiar game of hide and seek. In this game, one of two roles are assigned. You are either a hider or a seeker. With each and every game these roles are changed; however, most often or not, hiding was a role that seemed to over play the other.
I believe that I have been hiding long enough. This time it's my turn.
For now, I am a seeker.
I seek the hidden.
I seek truth.
I seek meaning.
I seek faith.
I seek love.
I seek music, art, and joy.
I seek people.
I seek you.
And above all...
I seek myself.
Out of interest and encouragement, I have decided to start one these. This is a work in progress.
I have never been much in the ways of the written word but I hope through this I can improve upon it. I hope to make this part of my routine though I can not guarantee anything.
As of now, my audience is small. Perhaps, with extended interest it will grow.
Thank you for reading.
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